A Stowaway

So I realize the economy has most everyone cutting some corners and trying to save a few bucks. And I understand being smart with transportation is a good idea, with gas prices always fluctuating as they do. But to stow away to catch a ride? Come on now.

However, that's exactly what I discovered today--a stowaway--in my car just as I was leaving work. While I was sitting at a light in rush hour traffic, the stowaway made his last foolish (and ultimately fatal) mistake. He dared to try to take the wheel! Reached right over my arm. Of course, I had, until that point, no idea he was even there! As you can imagine, I screamed and shook him off (all the while realizing if anyone around me was looking, he or she would think I looked quite hysterical. I'm sure I did!)

Now possibly even more disturbing than the fact that I had a stowaway, is how long he may have actually been hiding there. It might have been several days!!

So who was this character who had the audacity to hide out in my car? He was none other than a son of Aragog and nearly as big! (Ok, maybe not quite that big, but he really, really was a very large SPIDER!!*)

I don't think I've been that scared of any kind of creature in a long while, but there's something about finding one so large crawling on you or not knowing where it is while being trapped in the car with it. (Sorry, if this is making your skin crawl as you read this!)

Well, let me tell you about AJ's (Aragog Jr.'s) fateful end. Now, had he come to me beforehand and asked if we could carpool, I might have been a bit more understanding, but no, he chose to be sneaky just to save a few bucks on gas. But as soon as I knew he was right there beside me, I wasn't about to drive him all the way to Chesapeake. I pulled into the nearest place I could and carefully opened my door and got out. He knew he was in trouble and was reluctant to show himself again, but I wasn't going to be fooled this time, and after several minutes I found where he was hiding. In my highly agitated state, I confess, I didn't show the mercy I probably should have, but considering the fact that he likely had been riding around town with me since Friday night(!), he owed me more than he could pay. You know what they say, "there are only two things certain in life: death and taxes."

So my advice to you--watch out for stowaways. Times are tough, and even those in the animal kingdom are getting desperate to find ways to save!

*photo from freefoto.com

Book Review

Over the last few months, I've been participating in a ladies' Bible study with my church, which is studying through C.J. Mahaney's book Humility: True Greatness. In discussing this book, we've looked at how pride is really the root of so many other more obvious manifestations of sin. But because sin is so deceptive, we are often blind to it in our own lives, especially to the pride that lies behind it.

I remember a particular friend in college who would sometimes ask friends to take a spiritual "pop quiz." Though my pride resisted (and probably even resented) it at times, I appreciate now the concern this friend showed by holding me accountable, helping me to see areas where I had been blinded by my sin. So with that same concern for you, would you consider these questions?

Do you tend to live by a list of dos and don'ts?
Do you assume that practicing spiritual disciplines should result in God's blessing?
Are you discouraged or depressed by your failure to measure up?
Do you steer clear of intimate relationships or small group discussions?
Do your difficult circumstances seem like God's judgment for your sin?

So how'd you do? If you could answer yes to even one of these questions, then may I recommend the following book, from which these questions are taken?

Though not minimizing many other key doctrines in the Christian faith, in The Bookends of the Christian Life, authors Jerry Bridges and Bob Bevington, focus on two doctrines that they explain can be seen as anchors for our lives. As an editor and former English teacher, their framework of our lives as "a long bookshelf," where "the books on it represent all the things you do--both spiritual and temporal," resonates so easily with me. However, I think it is an analogy that can be easily understood by anyone who has ever had to put books on a shelf, whether at home or at a job. Without something to hold up the books on either end, the process can become extremely frustrating and discouraging.

So what are the two "bookends" we are to lean the books of our lives on that these authors say are so vital for us as Christians? The first is Christ's Righteousness and the second is the Power of the Holy Spirit. In this book they spend a equal amount of time on their discussion of each, beginning first with Christ's Righteousness. However, what I believe is so valuable in this book, are the chapters that identify "Gospel Enemies" that often keep us from "leaning our books on these bookends."

Perhaps as you read the questions above, you could identify what these enemies are. One is self-righteousness; the other is persistent guilt. They also discuss a third enemy to the bookend of the Power of the Holy Spirit, which is self-reliance.

Along with identifying these enemies they give Scriptural and extremely practical ways to fight them, mainly by helping the reader clearly understand the doctrine of these two "bookends." As we understand that through the substitutionary death of Jesus His righteousness has been credited to us, we will more easily identify our self-righteousness and recognize our need to lean our "books" on Christ alone every day. And as we come to better understand the hope and promise we have of enabling power through the Holy Spirit, the pride of our self-reliance will be exposed, and we will more fully depend on the Spirit.

The truths of these "bookends" are vital to every Christian. If you're not fully convinced yet that you should read this book, take a look at this review that might just win you over. If however, you are interested in reading this book for yourself (which I truly hope you are), it is available here or here.

It'll Take a Miracle

Yesterday marked a rather significant personal accomplishment. Of course, you might be thinking, after reading that sentence, of things like finishing a degree, getting the perfect job, etc. Well, most people will probably think once they read about this accomplishment, "Big deal. I do that every day and so do millions of other people. (Hence the reason, I qualify it with "personal" accomplishment.) But if you know me very well at all, you'll know just how much of an accomplishment it really was for me.

So, drum roll, please.

Yesterday marked the completion of 6 weeks straight (even Saturdays and Sundays!) that I got up at 5:50 am, without even hitting the snooze. Ta-da! (See, I told you, most of you would say, "so what?")

If this really isn't such a big deal for most everyone else, why would I be drawing so much attention to it?

Because in doing so I want not to boast in my own will power or discipline but instead to give the praise and glory to my Savior for the work the Spirit has done and continues to do in my life. The title to the post says it all. My getting up early consistently has literally taken a miracle. (And I don't just say this because I have never been a "morning person.") Of course, the miracle is not my getting up at the same time for any specific length of time, the true miracle was the "new birth" through which God gave me faith to repent and believe, accepting Christ's substitutionary work on the cross and submitting to His kingship in my life. This salvation has brought not only reconciliation with God through Jesus' atoning death for my sins, but also the gift of the indwelling Holy Spirit, who is working to complete what was started at conversion. Because of all of this, I can truly can say that this 'accomplishment' was none of me and all by God's grace. On my own, I would have continued to oversleep time and time again, only to feel guilty and vowing to try harder the next day. But through some recent study and listening to some sermons, God has graciously revealed this sin of self-reliance, calling me to repent and depend entirely on the Spirit's enabling to do anything, even getting up early.

Having reached my goal of 6 weeks and looking back at the Spirit's prompting to commit to this goal of being more disciplined (which, interestingly enough, is a fruit of the Spirit, not a work of the flesh), I'm beginning to see what the linchpin really is---it is faith or belief. I've heard it said often (and seen it demonstrated in so many ways) "belief determines behavior." We do not truly believe something until we have acted upon it. So this means a head knowledge alone isn't enough for it to be genuine belief, we need the faith that enables us to depend on the Truths we know, which results in action. Yet, is faith something we can work up in ourselves? No, it is a gift of God and comes from hearing the Word of God. Isn't it amazing that the same source for our faith is the same means we have to learn the truths we come to trust in?

In thinking all of this through in recent days, I realize now that my "commitment to be more disciplined" was really a gift of faith that motivated me to believe (or actively depend on) the Bible's promises of the Spirit's enabling us to live the Christian life as we should, both consistently and joyfully. And when we go through times of inconsistency or have little or no joy, the real reason is that our faith in Christ and our understanding of the Gospel is weak. Instead, we have begun to treasure and trust in our "functional saviors" to bring us joy and satisfaction.

Thankfully, we have Jesus, who is both the author and perfecter of our faith and far surpasses all of our "functional saviors" in worth and beauty. So let us "fix our eyes" on Him and Him alone. And may we pray along with the father who confessed and asked Jesus, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief."

With all that said, I guess I can't really call getting up early an accomplishment after all since my desire to do it consistently (and even the ability) was a gift of faith to trust in the power of the Spirit. So again I praise God through Jesus for the work the Spirit is doing in my life.

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. (Col. 2:6-7)

Confessions of an Idol Worshiper

No, I don't mean American Idol, if that is what you thought of as you read the title to this post. And no, I don't mean that I've been hiding any statues in my apartment either. So how can I be an idol worshiper then, you ask? Good question.

As I sat in church this morning listening to how idolatry is the enemy to the Gospel and heard questions like these below, I was ashamed but unfortunately not completely shocked at what my honest answers were.

• Where do you go for comfort?
• What makes you angry?
• What has God not given you that you are not happy with?
• Whose approval are you seeking?

I'm always amazed, though I know I shouldn't be, at how God patiently continues to reveal something specific to us in a number of different ways until we get it. Several weeks ago now, I began studying the OT book of Jeremiah with a friend. If you are not familiar with this book, most of it deals with God's judgment of Israel for... you guessed it, their idolatry. And as I read about Israel, I of course drew the parallel to my life to a certain point, but pride blinded me from really admitting how much I was like Israel in her idolatry, until today. (I hadn't gotten to Jer. 17:9 yet obviously, which talks about the heart being deceitful.) This same pride often prevents us from seeing our sins for what they are---placing something of lesser worth above the One who is of greatest worth.

So in my life, instead of the more obvious sin of laziness, the deeper sin is my idolizing comfort and ease, rather than identifying with Christ's sufferings and denying self (I Pet. 4:12-13). And instead of the sin of vanity, I idolize others' opinions and views of me and seek man's approval, rather than growing in faith by cherishing the cross in order to please God not man (Heb.11:6).

Thankfully, as I read Jeremiah, the parallel to my life is not only with Israel's sin but with their salvation as well. God graciously and mercifully continued to call His people Israel to repentance, just as He does for His people today. So I find rescue from my idol worshiping through Jesus, my Redeemer. He is the Truth and Light, illuminating the deceitfulness of my sinful heart. He calls me to turn from all my idols and to worship instead the One who alone is worthy of worship, thus finding the true peace and joy my heart longs for.

Jesus, I am resting, resting
In the joy of what thou art.
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transforming power,
Thou has made me whole.
Jean Sophia Pigott

Cookies and Conversation

I've surprised myself in recent weeks by actually being a bit more domestic. My most recent foray into the kitchen and world of cooking and baking was this week's attempt to make Chocolate Peanut Butter cookies. (The recipe is in the current Cooking Light issue and actually was pretty good although it took a second try making more cookies this afternoon for me to admit that I really liked it.) Perhaps the reason was that the first attempt was done with a friend, and as much as I appreciated her time and effort, we probably concentrated more on our conversation than we did making the cookies. :) I wonder how long it takes chefs on TV to learn how to talk and cook at the same time? Personally, I'd much rather sit and talk while eating cookies than to talk while making cookies. Well, here's to more yummy cookies and good conversation either way!

Giving Thanks...for Giving

With Thanksgiving this week, of course, along with everyone else, I am thinking more of what I'm thankful for. I could list so many things as I hope you could. However, I decided to focus on one specific thing I'm thankful for (at least for this post), and that is giving itself. Have you ever thought about how much you've been given? Not by earning or even deserving it, but it's just given...for free? (I hope you see where I'm going with this.)

Most often the verb to give is used transitively in a sentence, meaning that the subject (person) gives a direct object (thing). However, this year I'm thankful not as much for the things people have given me but more for the fact that they've actually given. So who are the people in my life that have given to me?

1. First, I have been very blessed to have parents who have given not just money, but love, support, correction, protection, wisdom, and time. I'm extremely grateful that they have given so selflessly and continue to do so.

2. I'm also thankful for the teachers I've had over the years who have given so much of their time and talents to influence my life through education. (I never knew just how selfless some of my teachers were until I became a teacher myself and understood the kind of self-sacrifice that this position demands.)

3. Next, I must express gratefulness for the many friends I have now and have had throughout my life. All of them have given in different ways: through hospitality, time, gifts, notes of encouragement, phone calls, and prayer, to name a few. I'm nearly overwhelmed sometimes by their generosity.

4. Last, but not least, I must thank the Father for giving His Son Jesus Christ, who in turn gave His life in obedience to the Father. God's perfect demonstration of giving, of course, is how each of the other examples I've listed can even have meaning or significance.

So this year I am especially thankful for the act of giving because it ultimately reminds us of the One who has modeled genuine giving by which all our giving is measured, and the subsequent gifts themselves are just an exceeding abundance of His grace.

Thanks be to God for his inexpressible gift!~ 2 Cor. 9:15

Living what I say I believe...

Well, we all have heard how historic yesterday's election was. And I agree it is a great accomplishment, but now we wait and see. There were a lot of promises made for change. I hope people are ready for the changes that really will come; they may find they are not the ones they expected.

So much of this election was decided solely on a person's words. But as I've been reminded of several times recently, saying and doing are two very different things. Actions will reveal a person's true beliefs.

The coming months and even years ahead will give the new President and us an opportunity to demonstrate beliefs through actions. As Believers, what will responses of anxiety, anger, or bitterness reveal about what we say we believe about God's sovereignty? My prayer for myself and all who know Christ is that we will be able to respond instead with a steady trust, not in a man, but in the Sovereign King, not in a party or plan for change, but in the person of Jesus Christ, who ultimately is the only One who can and will bring true change through the transforming power of the Gospel.

The Gospel...and Moving to a New Apartment

I know some might say the two things mentioned in the title are unrelated. And I would have thought the same only a few months ago. However, one of the most important things I've learned recently at my church is that everything (Did you get that? Everything.) comes back to the Gospel. So as I have tried to keep this Truth forefront in my mind, I started trying to list specific ways I can see the Gospel in moving to a new apartment.

So here's what I came up with.

1. Moving reminds me of a need for dependence on others.
The Gospel is the news that we must trust completely in the person of Jesus Christ for our salvation.

2. Moving reminds me that this life is temporary and transitory.
The Gospel is eternal and Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

3. Moving shows me how much junk I really have and its insignificance in light of eternity.
The Gospel has given me forgiveness and an eternal inheritance according the riches of grace through Jesus.

4. Moving reminds of my physical weaknesses.
The Gospel is the means of redemption for both my soul and body, and I will one day have a glorified body (and no back pain!).

5. Moving reveals my sinfulness and continuing need for sanctification.
The Gospel gives me assurance that He who began a good work in me will complete it.

I hope this has been as much a blessing to you as it was to me. And I challenge you to keep your focus on the Gospel... no matter how unrelated your circumstances might seem.

Mighty is the Power of the Cross

What can take a dying man
And raise him up to life again?
What can heal the wounded soul?
What can make us white as snow?
What can fill the emptiness?
What can mend our brokenness? Brokenness

Verse 2:
What restores our faith in God?
What reveals the Father's love?
What can lead the wayward home?
What can melt a heart of stone?
What can free the guilty ones?
What can save and overcome? Overcome

Chorus:
Mighty, awesome, wonderful
Is the Holy cross.
Where the Lamb lay down His life
To lift us from the fall.
Mighty is the power of the cross.


It's a miracle to me
It's a miracle to me
It's still a mystery
And it's still a mystery
It's a miracle to me
The power of God to
Those who believe


Thank You for the cross.

lyrics by Chris Tomlin

A Veritable Feast

In the last few months I've been confronted with so much Truth at my new church. And while I feel that my mind is nearly full with these truths to chew on, thankfully by God's grace I find that the opposite is true of my heart: it is not at all full enough and hungers for so much more. As a result, I believe I am finally beginning to grasp a deeper significance to the psalmist's imperative to "taste and see that the Lord is good," for God's Word when rightly handled is a veritable feast.

But not only do I better understand what David means in savoring God's goodness, but I also understand even more why he makes this statement. Someone who has tasted something superbly satisfying can't help but tell others about it so that they too can partake for themselves!
Again because of His grace, now more than ever I want to share what I'm learning, not just in an academic sense, but more importantly to share how it is truly making a difference in the way I think and ultimately act.

So for those who have already tasted the Truths of the Gospel, may you be reminded of the wonderful satisfaction and joy they bring and continue to relish them. And for those who have yet to sample what God offers at His table, please, I invite you along with the psalmist to "taste and see that the Lord is good!"

Musings

So, it has been so long since I've written a post, I doubt anyone I know will even read this for a while. However, I have been wanting to begin blogging again more regularly, and now is as good a time as any. The trouble for me has always been knowing what to write about because I can't seem to decide on a purpose for my blog. I suppose it doesn't have to be just one purpose so that could make it easier.
Another reason I find it hard to write is because I don't want to "reinvent the wheel" so to speak when writing about certain topics. So many others are better writers and more informed, which makes me to wonder, "what can I add?" I know that shouldn't keep me from writing, but sadly it has to this point.
One thing too that I've realized is that I should use the education I was so blessed to receive and that means taking opportunities to write.

So with that said, there will be more to come soon.

Lost Pensieve

If you are a journal writer, one of the reasons you do this is to help you to remember specific events, feelings, and thoughts as you go through life.
So irony of ironies, this object that's used to help people remember, I forgot about and left it on the chairs at the Columbus airport last week. For those who are avid journal writers, you'll feel my pain and sense of loss. The comparison that keeps coming to mind is Rowling's description of a pensieve--an object used by Dumbledore to store important memories and thoughts. Imagine seeing that crash to the ground to break into pieces before Harry could see the oh so important memories he needed to witness to truly understand his role at the end of this saga. Now, admittedly, my memories are not so vital to others, but you'll recognize that they are obviously important and personal to me. However, they are at this point lost for good. Sigh. If only I had a journal in which to write about this experience.

National Poetry Month 2008

As Kingfishers Catch Fire, Dragonflies Draw Flame
by Gerard Manley Hopkins

As kingfishers catch fire, dragonflies dráw fláme;
As tumbled over rim in roundy wells
Stones ring; like each tucked string tells, each hung bell’s
Bow swung finds tongue to fling out broad its name;
Each mortal thing does one thing and the same:
Deals out that being indoors each one dwells;
Selves—goes itself; myself it speaks and spells,
Crying Whát I do is me: for that I came.

Í say móre: the just man justices;
Kéeps gráce: thát keeps all his goings graces;
Acts in God’s eye what in God’s eye he is—
Chríst—for Christ plays in ten thousand places,
Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his
To the Father through the features of men’s faces.

Happy Birthday to the Bard

I cannot say it better than Ben Jonson.

"He was not of an age, but for all time."



We are studying Merchant of Venice in 8th grade right now.
Below is one of my favorite passages from the play.

The quality of mercy is not strain'd,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.
'T is mightiest in the mightiest: it becomes
The throned monarch better than his crown;
His sceptre shows the force of temporal power,
The attribute to awe and majesty,
Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings;
But mercy is above this sceptred sway,
It is enthroned in the hearts of kings,
It is an attribute to God himself;
And earthly power doth then show likest God's,
When mercy seasons justice. Therefore, Jew,
Though justice be thy plea, consider this,
That in the course of justice none of us
Should see salvation: we do pray for mercy;
And that same prayer doth teach us all to render
The deeds of mercy.
~Portia, Act 4.1

Hymn Meditations

Pass me not, O gentle Savior,
hear my humble cry;
while on others thou art calling,
do not pass me by.

Let me at thy throne of mercy
find a sweet relief,
kneeling there in deep contrition;
help my unbelief.

Trusting only in thy merit,
would I seek thy face;
heal my wounded, broken spirit,
save me by thy grace.

Thou the spring of all my comfort,
more than life to me,
whom have I on earth beside thee?
Whom in heaven but thee?

Refrain
Savior, Savior, hear my humble cry;
while on others thou art calling,
do not pass me by.

Words by Fanny J. Crosby, 1868

Poem

Introduction to Poetry
by Billy Collins

I ask them to take a poem
and hold it up to the light
like a color slide

or press an ear against its hive.

I say drop a mouse into a poem
and watch him probe his way out,

or walk inside the poem's room
and feel the walls for a light switch.

I want them to waterski
across the surface of a poem
waving at the author's name on the shore.

But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out of it.

They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means.

Celebrating Poetry and its Inspiration

Pied Beauty
by Gerard Manley Hopkins
Glory be to God for dappled things-- For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow; For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim; Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches' wings; Landscape plotted and pieced--fold, fallow, and plough; And all trades, their gear and tackle and trim. All things counter, original, spare, strange; Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?) With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim; He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change: Praise Him.

An original Haiku

high stacks of papers
red pens running out of ink
ready for a break

New wheels for GRMR RLZ

Well, if you're interested, here are the promised pictures of my new car--a 2002 Ford Escape.
I'm thankful that the Lord provided not only a car in my price range but also the kind I really wanted. I'm certainly looking forward to making some trips, hopefully soon.

Making changes

"People are always saying that change is a good thing, but what they really mean is that the thing that they didn't want to happen has happened." You've Got Mail

Change is a word that describes my life very well right now. I am thinking about changing jobs; I'm changing cars; I'm hoping to change addresses this summer; and I've changed my cell phone number. (I'll be emailing all those who I know will want the new number, but I wanted to draw your attention to it in this post in case you don't see the email or read this first.)

I'm facing some big decisions, and I am trying not to lean on my own understanding, but it sure is hard sometimes. I'm thankful, however, in all of this change and uncertainty, that I know One who never changes. He is always the same.